"Thank you," Charlene said softly when he joined her at the sink, drying the dishes as she washed them. "Joseph, I'm really sorry about your mother. I wish there was something I could do to ease your pain." Thank you, Charlene, but I'll be okay," he told her. But he wasn't okay. Just the reminder of his mother's passing brought up a lump in his throat. Charlene, sensitive to such things, turned to him and put her arms around him. She drew his head down to her shoulder, patting his back."There, there," she said. "You let it out. I won't tell anyone." He began to cry. He put his arms around her tightly, ashamed of his weakness, but she didn't seem bothered by it at all. Marla would have been ridiculing him by now. Why couldn't his own wife offer him comfort like this? When was the last time they simply held each other, anyway? He found himself comparing Charlene to her daughter, noting how different she felt in his arms. Soft, a little pudgy, the opposite of her. My mind had not been clear when it happened, but I had been completely selfish, heedless of Fiona’s needs and vulnerability. Even if she knew that I loved her, didn’t she have the right to expect something more from me on the way of reassurance? Aideen had emphasised to me how strongly Fiona could feel about things, and I had given her no comfort, after blithely receiving hers.I had to do better. Fiona had given me her trust, her help, and her love, and though I had failed her in so many ways, all I could do now was trying harder, working at becoming worthy of her. That meant, most of all, being honest with her. I owed her to stop keeping secrets from her, to rely on her kindness and judgement rather than my fears, and to tell her, at last, how much she meant to me.After that time she had made Sylvia admit we were not her equals, and that conversation I had with Aideen about it, I had been trying to work things out in my head. I realised that, much as I wanted to deny it, there were.
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